It's called butterbeer
by wingsrookie
Summary: Hehe...one really should watch those butterbeers....they'll get you when you least suspect it!
1. It's called butterbeer

**_It's called butter_**beer**_, so why does no one ever get drunk off it?_**

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It's a simple question, really. probably has a remarkably simple answer. Ah, well. Lucky for you the plot bunny stampede that ran through

my English class this morning didn't want simple, although it does seem to have wanted short...: )

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"If I were a tape-worm…nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah all day long I'd sing this silly song…if I were a little wo---rm! Na-nana-n ah…"Hermione slurred. 

"Um…George? I'm thinking we shouldn't have given Hermione that last butterbeer….or the ten before it…"Ron whimpered as a very….happy…version of Hermione twirled about the room, waltzing with a banana before sticking it in Ron's hand and continuing on to tango by herself.

"Interesting. I didn't think you could _get_ drunk off of butterbeer…" Remarked Fred.

"Hey, guys, have you seen my secret stash of firewiskey? I left it somewheres about, and I'm worried mum might've found it…" Called Charly from the garden. The three miscreants looked at eachother in horror.

"Uh-oh…" They whispered in union. Suddenly George's newly-opened bottle of "butterbeer" was ripped out of his hand by an ecstatic Hermione.

"Whiskey, I love whiskey! Drinks all around!" Hermione called as she hugged the bottle of butterbeer to her chest.

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well, how was that? did you like it? did you not? let me know!

Rookie


	2. They say chocolate can cure everything

Heya! It's wingsrookie here!

Okay, so I wasn't planning on continuing this story, but someone commented on the first chapter, and I couldn't remember what the story was. I read the first chapter again, and was inspired. So here's this. Hope you likes it!!!! don't know if i'll continue it or not...

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It was a bright and beautiful morning in Otter St. Catchpole. The birds were singing, sheep-dogs barking, and Hermione Granger was groaning.

Mind you, it wasn't the birds singing or the dogs barking. It was the fact that the little men in her head were whistling and rattling their tin cups as they cheerfully

attempted to dismantle her head from the inside.

Now everyone knows Hermione Granger is an extremely sensible and logical girl. Unfortunatly what everyone _doesn't_ know is that these traits only

work when she isn't drunk off her rocker. Unfortunatly for three very-soon-to-be-dead Weasly boys, Hermione was _still_ drunk of her keister despite having slept the night away.

So when she got up the next morning, she was almost certain that little men were trying to take apart her brain from the inside.

Doing the only thing she could think of, given the circumstances, Hermione grabbed a chocolate bar from her secret stash and downed it in sixteen tiny bites. She may no longer be logical, but Hermione Granger was still a Lady. Sort of, anyways. Unfortunatley chocolate failed her. The cure-all of every choc-o-holic since chocolate began, had just failed rather spectacularly. In fact, it seemed that the caffeine inside the chocolate was urging the little men even faster.

So Hermione took the next most thoughtful thing to do. She tried to run straight to her mother. Unfortuantley for Hermione several doors, a staircase, and Ginny Weasely stood in her way. After barreling through the door, tumbling down the stairs, and straight into Ginny, Hermione managed to not only pull both of them to the floor, but attract Mrs. Weasley's attention as well.

"Hermione! What the bloody...!" Ginny started to say, before catching sight of a very angry mother.

"Ginny! How many times have I told you? No swearing!" Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"But Mum! Hermione...!" Ginny protested.

"Hermione? What's wrong, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked, noticing Hermione holding her head desperately with her hands.

"The little men! The little men are trying to take apart my head from the inside!" Hermione wept, pushing on her head like she could keep it together despite the little men.

"The...little ...men?" Mrs. Granger asked.

"Uh-huh." Hermione hummed, then winced. "The humming makes them work harder. so does chocolate. Even chocolate didn't make everything all better!" Hermione wept. The only two Weasley females looked at each other and their eyebrows shot towards their hairlines.

"Mum...isn't there only one thing chocolate can't cure?" Ginny asked.

"Yes. Ginny. Hermione, dear...have you...been drinking?" Mrs. Weasely asked hesitantly.

"nnn..nnn...y...maybe? I mean, I had those butterbeers that Gred and Fon and rorge gave me...I think i had twenty...no...A ... of those?" Hermione mumbled, rocking back and forth in time to the little ditty the men were singing silently. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny looked at eachother. hermione, watching the angry women depart, had the brief thought that those boys were going to die for giving her butterbeer. Unfortunatley she was too drunk to care, and then the little men started singing again and Hermione hummed along as she rocked back and forth, holding her head together.

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Okie-day. So, I hoped you liked this chapter. If so, review! If not, REVIEW!!! Hey, you took the time to read it, and I took the time to write it, so show a little curtesy, okay? Thanks. :) 


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